I want to make this whole post an advertisement for the Nu Wave stove. I’ve never used it, nor will I, but that infomercial is pretty good and I think everyone should watch that. Oh, I don’t want you to buy it…god no. Why would you buy your cooking utensil from a infomercial? Stop it. Go to a store, see something you like and BUY IT! Let’s stop being weird recluse’s and go enjoy life the way it was meant to be in the best decade in recorded history, the 1980’s. Pre-internet, Post-disco, Present-Oliver North Trial. Enjoy this interview with Jeanie Doogan.
Riggs: How are you?
Doogan: I am doing well except for my foot hurts. Feet are important and we forget that until they act like jerks. Then I remember, oh flip flops have no laces or support, I’m sorry, feet.
Riggs: If you could, how would you plan your own funeral?
Doogan: Like, what would I want there or would I plan it before my death from a terminally ill ward in hospice? This is a sad question. I guess all I can say is I want a lot people there crying. Some people say, don’t cry for me when I’m dead. Not me. I want a big funeral with everyone crying. Absolutely no mirth or merriment of any kind. Also, I’d like Warren Zevon’s “Keep Me In Your Heart” played on loop the entire time. In multiple languages.
Riggs: Corn: Canned or Fresh?
Doogan: I should say fresh, but canned corn is so delicious. Especially if it’s creamed.
Riggs: What is the thing (tv show, comedian, person etc.) that gave you the idea to start comedy?
Doogan: My mom gave me the idea to start comedy when I came home black-out drunk at the age 12 and she said, “you’re so funny. why would you do this to yourself.” Then she didn’t talk to me for 3 days. That compliment meant a lot because I grew up Irish-Catholic and we didn’t really compliment each other or show affection, so I latched onto the fact that my ma thought I was funny and kept it in my pocket for 20 years until I had the nerve to try stand-up.
Riggs: If you could have dinner with any historical figure, what would you suggest as an appetizer?
Doogan: Breaded mushrooms with ranch dressing. Then I’d keep the ranch on the table for the whole meal to dip every food in it
Riggs: How many surgeries have you had?
Doogan: I’ve had 2 c-sections. Love that shit. Drugs and a controlled birth is the way to do it, ladies. No sense of taking the chance that you’re going to have a baby skull stuck up in you.
Riggs: What are your four favorite state capitals (lower 48)? Please don’t say why.
Doogan: Springfield, Atlanta, Baton Rouge, Denver
Riggs: 5 words or less…explain religion.
Doogan: Live a life of guilt
Riggs: What are you most proud of in the world?
Doogan: I am most proud that I have really wonderful kids and still found a way to work full time, devote a lot of time to develop and pursue comedy and take that I continue to take risks that scare me
Riggs: Any final thoughts? (Although none of your words will be edited, do know that if you do not include nice words about me, I will add them in for you…fyi, my version of you will be very complimentary of me)
Doogan: My final thoughts are that Matt Riggs is the man among men and I’m so appreciative to get a chance to talk to him about myself. I really love doing that, almost as much as I love Matt Riggs’ comedy.