After last week’s Gotham series premiere and last night’s second episode, this seems like it’s just going to be a regular weekly thing, so just deal with it.
Initially, hearing about Gotham was like having my parents take me to a movie that I really wanted to see. I was excited and thrilled (knowing how good Arrow is), then I saw the reviews from the San Diego Comic-Con screening. It’s that sinking feeling of seeing a shadowy figure at the end of an alley, you hope it’s just a friendly passerby, but you know it won’t bode well. When you come face to face with the mugger, he takes everything you’ve ever loved away from you in the blink of an eye. In this case, Gotham is the mugger and has killed the hope of a good Batman TV show.
Reading the reviews on other websites, it seems the reviewers of Gotham are more corrupt than the cops in Gotham. I have no evidence to back this up other than the fact that I know 90% of the Rotten Tomatoes reviewers are not blind and deaf. So here is a die hard Batman fan’s fair and harsh review of this week’s Gotham.
Episode 2 is titled “Selina Kyle,” which has about as much to do with Selina Kyle as the first episode had to do with a “Pilot.” Selina Kyle (aka Catwoman) only likes to be called “Cat,” which is incredibly unnecessary seeing as she constantly moves like a cat and steals milk to feed cats. Although, maybe they didn’t want you to think she was another comic character like The Flaming Carrot.
Episode 2 is a mess from the first scene. Two people, who can only be described as extras from Hogan’s Heroes, are kidnapping street urchins to deliver to the Dollmaker (a villain we never see). The street kids don’t even fight back except for guest star, Kyle Massey, who runs away. Selina “Cat” Kyle watches from a distance. Is she going to witness every crime in Gotham?
Meanwhile, the Penguin is hitchhiking and picked up by douchebags, who call him Penguin just in case we don’t know who he is (thanks writers!). He kills them, steals their clothes, and rents a trailer from an all too trusting farmer.
Bruce Wayne is being emo, listening to fake metal music, and burning his hands on a candle. I wonder if Alfred will take him to Hot Topic next week…
Fish Mooney over acts, Bullock is still blander than Vanilla ice cream, Barbara (Jim’s fiancee) is there only for a convenient plot point, and they still mispronounce Falcone’s name as Fal-cone. He’s Italian, this nickname is “The Roman.” It’s Fal-co-ney! Are they not even trying? Is is nemesis going to be Sal Macaroni?
With the atrocious dialogue, one dimensional characters, and mediocre acting, Gotham feels right at home on the shit shelf with Batman Forever, Batman and Robin, Birds of Prey, Beware the Batman, anything written by Grant Morrison, Catwoman, Mystery of the Batwoman, Batman Dark Tomorrow, etc. I’ll still watch this like the moron I am, but this show is terrible.
Gotham Episode 2 is a slightly better 5 out of 10 Fal-co-neys!
Kyle Dodson is a writer, comedian, Rock Solid Podcast producer, Batman aficionado, facial hair connoisseur, and oxford comma supporter.