After last week‘s abysmal performance, Gotham is back with episode 5 “Viper.” Is it about the DC villain Viper? Nope. It’s about a drug.
Bruce is making a conspiracy board with pictures and news clippings. He’s way too smart for a 12 year old kid. How dumb will Gordon look when he doesn’t realize that Bruce is Batman in 20 years?
An odd looking man in a suit drops a glass vial of green liquid into a street performers case. Since the bottle says “Breathe Me,” he huffs it, sees colors, and drinks a gallon of milk in a convenience store. The shopkeep tells the drugged up street performer that he has to pay for that. “Don’t vex me mortal.” That’s what the druggie says and of course the shopkeep makes a Zeus reference. Already we’re crossing into Mad Hatter, Maxie Zeus, and Bane references that aren’t going to pay off.
GCPD officers Gordon and Bullock are up the street when Selina gets caught pickpocketing a man… right in front of them. Gordon runs after and Bullock complains that it’s lunch time. Gordon ends up at the store that was robbed, so much for Selina. The shopkeep tells Gordon that the druggie stole the ATM with his bare hands and recounts everything we saw already.
Fish Mooney is teaching her new performer how to sing and says the singer needs to earn calling Fish her “momma.”
All of Gotham’s mob bosses (minus Maroni) meet in a reused warehouse set. They talk about the Arkham project, but mainly they mispronounce Falcone’s name and Fish insults a Russian mobster’s mother’s cooking. “Whaddaya gonna hit a woman?” is a line someone got paid to write.
Gordon and Bullock happen upon the druggie who is jonesing for more, lifts the ATM above his head to throw at them before every bone in his body breaks as it crushes him. Jim Gordon warns “god help us if that drug gets out.”
Young Bruce is already attending fundraisers, asking the Board members about Arkham, and sleeping during the day. How is no one going to know he’s Batman!? Go to boarding school!
The set that is supposed to be GCPD, is full of people on this new “Viper” drug. Nygma is used to offer his theory as to why they get super strength, something about calcium… it doesn’t make sense. He’s less riddle-y and obviously the producers told him to act more like Matthew Gray Gubler’s Criminal Minds character.
Sal Maroni is back at the Penguin’s restaurant talking loudly and they basically have the same exchange as every episode. What do you know? What’s your name? Stop talking to me.
The only lead Bullock and Gordon have is that the guy distributing has a disfigured ear. They find out who he is and learn he tried to cut off his own ear during a disagreement at the company he worked at. Bullock quips “Looks like it was harder than he thought.” I could write a better line by dropping my phone on my keyboard.
Maroni’s men come to the GCPD and escort Gordon to Penguin, who is held captive by Maroni. Maroni is eating seafood and threatens to shove the claw down Penguin’s throat if he interrupts, so naturally Gordon interrupts.
Gordon has to tell Maroni the same story that Penguin told him or he’ll kill them both. Penguin’s face is resting on a meat slicer for suspense… menacing! Of course, Gordon tells the truth to the mob boss, which matches Penguin’s story. Maroni kisses Penguin and takes him under his wing… wak wak wak. Maroni: “It’s like Christmas!” Gordon: “Happy Holidays! Can I go?”
Fish trains her singer to say “I love you baby” and other weird things. It’s really unsettling to watch, more unsettling than Jada’s acting.
Gordon finds a random framed picture of the disfigured ear guy. He points to things in the picture. Books? Must be the philosophy department at Gotham U! The other guy in the picture, Professor Exposition, just happens to be having office hours and knows everything about the Viper drug (which he calls Venom). Turns out this guy is in cahoots with ear guy, takes the drug, bends his walker, and tries to kill Bullock with it. Gordon shoots the guy. It’s basically the same choreographed climactic scene we’ve seen in every episode thus far. Ear guy is headed to the charity function at Wayne Enterprises. Dumb dumb dummmmmbb!
Disguised as a waiter with a deformed ear, the villain wheels the canister of Venom/Viper to the air ducts outside. Ear guy gets ahold of the TV feed at the charity function and tells his entire plan. Bullock and Gordon arrive as he unleashes his Legionnaire’s Disease Venom through the vents. Gordon shoots the canister spraying it all over ear guy, who tells them to go look at Warehouse 39, then jumps off the building to his death. Bullock: “You really can have too much of a good thing.” You can have too much of a bad thing too, FOX.
Obviously, there’s nothing in Warehouse 39. To explain, Bullock echoes my thoughts every time I watch this show: “What’d you expect, it’s Gotham.” A female Wayne Enterprises employee that Bruce was asking about his parents’ death is outside Warehouse 39 making a mysterious phone call.
The Russian mobster and Fish are sleeping together… huge twist. Falcone feeds the birds (tuppence, tuppence), when Fish’s singer girl approaches him and gains his trust. Apparently, she looks like his mother and hums a song she used to hum.
That’s it. Tune in next week. Same Crap Time. Same Crap Channel.
Gotham Episode 5: “Viper” is a boring 3 out of 10 deformed ears.
Kyle Dodson is a writer, comedian, Rock Solid Podcast producer, Batman aficionado, facial hair connoisseur, and oxford comma supporter.